Posted by: tlboehm | May 29, 2012

Why I am never Uberdomestic

Before I launch my latest spate of inane blather I must preface my rant with the following bit of random information: Whilst I did enjoy the three day weekend afforded my by Federal Law in 1967 – it must be noted that Friday SHOULD have been my usual day off, which if it had been given would have resultedi in a four day weekend. BUT NO! We had auditors in house so I lost half my scheduled day off on Friday. Furthermore, as I am “salaried” I don’t get any compensation for working on a day off. So yeah. I’m a tad cranky. 

So after a Saturday spent with the potential inlaws and a Sunday at church and then dinner and Apples to Apples with the potential daughter in law – I FINALLY eeked out a true day off yesterday. I’d like to tell you that I did my toes, took a bubble bath and coiffed my hair in several styles at my leisure whilst sipping cognac but that would be outright fiction. (I’ve never sipped cognac and I don’t coif my hair. I’m doing well to comb the mess daily.) The truth is, I popped out of bed at 6:00 and began to furiously multitask. I cooked two types of beans and chicken Vera Cruz. I did laundry and multiple sinks of dishes. I reposted some old writing (waste of time, there. I’ve lost my edge, my audience or maybe my mind. Not sure which but its probably a combo meal) I worked on genealogy and did a review of one accounting CD. AND – I decided to tackle my bathroom tub and bowl. Seriously – we have four rumps on one small porcelain device. It gets, “earthy” OK. Its downright disgusting and THEY don’t care. I’m actually afraid to put my cheeks on the thing. God knows what might be EVOLVING in the bowl. The bath tub is only a bit better. (a lighter shade of “eewww!” perhaps, which is disconcerting considering that we’re on our THIRD bowl in twenty years but the tub has probably been in the house twice that long.) So I got out the welding helmet, the hazmat gear and my robotic arm and attempted to scare the crap (uh…word choice, Tam. word choice) out of the porcelain items in my powder room. I scrubbed and cussed till my eyes watered. Then I gave the toilet and tub a “time out” drenched in cleaning solutions so that they could think about the disgusting messes they had become. 
Enter BIPED. I had the blue clingy gel in in a nice coat for about FIVE minutes before IT stumbles to life and promptly pees in my project. Ten minutes later – IT takes a shower, undoing my lime munching brew of foaming death. Sigh. 
The kitchen sink was almost passable – and then THEY ravaged the fridge – leaving a trail of plates and utensils in their wake. And the cleaning project disintegrated from there.  
This morning, there are dishes in the sink, coffee rings on the counter, socks on the floor and once again I am staring down the barrel of a busy week. The toilet still sports a black rim and there is still soap henge in the tub, but its the EFFORT, right? Yeah. Right. 
And so I’m back to my ornery self. I guess it was only a matter of time. 


  1. Wait, the potential WHAT? Who, when, whaaaa—?

    You haven’t lost your audience, Multiply has just–potential WHAT was that?–been dying a long, slow death.

    June Cleaver doesn’t live here, either. Sorry, potential WHICH? The thing with cleaning is that you–potential–REALLY?–wow!–clean things and then just have to–how did your spawn get old enough to be bringing home a potential ANYTHING–to clean them again. Why bother?

    Wait, sorry, but–the potential WHAT?

  2. Yes. the man spawn has a BEAUTIFUL girlfriend. We call her folks the “potential in laws” You may be able to see her on FB. (:

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