Posted by: tlboehm | February 17, 2014

Horse feathers

The day is dissolving into that gun metal colored expanse of high desert sky that tugs at the ghost of my teenage heart, creating that ache of hope crashing against the vast expanse of hopelessness. It’s like a stranding in the horse latitudes* waiting for winds that never come to give me lift, to move me forward.

Truth is, my feet are cramped from sitting on this same perch for so long, if my cage were opened I don’t know if I could achieve flight. I’ve experienced so many extended landings I’m not even sure what altitude is anymore. I used to crave it, the rush…the heady flutter of wings against the fresh air, the warm light and promise of a new day. I’m not sure where I lost it but circular motion will eventually numb your perspective and that is where I am. I’ve been on this same loop for so long I can ride it with my eyes closed. If I were presented with an opportunity for change, would I even register or would I trudge right by, head down and bit in mouth – each foot in the groove the prior steps made. I wonder.

Yet on days like this if I stop for a moment and consider letting that wispy pin feathered thing called hope to flutter within, I feel the lift and I hear that teenage heart cry out “I still want to fly.” Hope is a powerful thing, you know. Given one open door moment and hope will fledge, taking to the skies – new altitudes, new ideas – she will soar.

Who knows how many more extended landings wait for me. Perhaps I am destined for a plethora of wing snapping crashes before it’s all over but oh, that hope for flight. I still crave it. I still believe it is possible. And I’m asking. Open the cage. Bend the bars a little. Flight feathers….they always grow back.

Peace

*Horse Latitudes – latitudes with little wind and warm weather. Supposedly Spanish sailing ships would find themselves becalmed with cargos of ponies for trade and would end up throwing the horses overboard when fresh water supplies dwindled.  There’s probably a cool poem or two there or not. 

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Responses

  1. This makes me think so much of where me Abbs and Rico are – just about to graduate and SO ready to soar ❤

    • Yup, On the edge of that nest is a terrifying and amazing place to be. You can do it though.

  2. Reblogged this on On The Way To There and commented:
    This reminds me so much of where I am in life. Me and my two closest friends are about to graduate – preparing to soar. ❤

  3. wow. I read this out loud to Mike right now and he is VERY IMPRESSED…. with the move into the new home I will have my office area away from his tv area again and I will start writing again… I mean it… I have several short stories that need research and fleshing out… then… who knows. Miss you bo..When I have something I think is of value, I will email it to you to review k? Love you. T

    • Thank you T. Yes, send me anything….I love to read you

  4. Of course this is so in tune with where many of us are. I’m there with you. I saw something on TV that I’ll inbox to you later. This is right in line with it. Hope can be a pesky thing, driving one right to the edge of insanity especially when you are just on the other side of a locked door…just one small click, and you’re soaring.

    • So true, so true. I’ve been crazy like this before, and that’s part of it. Not sure I want to be crazy again. But where I am is crazy too. 🙂


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